That awful feeling before your first date
Have you ever had to abruptly cancel a date due to extreme anxiety? Have you ever worried for hours over a mere text message? If you have experienced this, you are not alone. Numerous individuals in the United States struggle with dating anxiety.
I recall the first time I went out after a lengthy split. My hands were trembling, my heart was racing, and I went over every conceivable conversation in my thoughts.
Unsurprisingly, the outcome was not what I had anticipated. But here’s the thing: dating anxiety doesn’t have to run your love life.
In this article, we’ll talk about what causes dating anxiety, how it affects your thinking, and, most importantly, how to get over it.
What is the Dating Anxiety? (And why does it feel so bad?)
Dating anxiety is the strong worry of being turned down, judged, or embarrassed when you meet someone new. It’s not simply jitters; it’s a deep-seated fear that something will go wrong.
What causes it to happen, dating anxiety?
Fear of Rejection: “What if they don’t like me?”
Overthinking is thinking over every word, gesture, and silence.
Past Trauma: Bad dates may leave emotional scars.
Social Pressure: The idea that you have to discover “the one.”
Sarah, a friend of mine, told me once that she got rid of her dating apps because it was too stressful to match and message people. She would spend hours writing the “perfect” response, only to panic and leave the discussion. That’s what dating anxiety looks like.
How Dating Anxiety Shows Up in the Real World
1. The Panic Attack Before the Date
You eventually say yes to a date over coffee. But as the day gets closer, your mind starts to race:
“What if I say something dumb?”
“What if they think I’m dull?”
“What if there is an awkward silence?”
I know how you feel. I canceled a date three times before I actually went. Being afraid of being embarrassed made me feel stuck.
2. The constant overthinking
After you play back every second:
“Did I say too much?”
“Why did they take so long to answer?”
“Was that joke strange?”
The Anxiety and Depression Association of America did a survey and discovered that more than 40% of single people feel stressed about dating. That indicates a significant amount of overthinking!
3. Self-Sabotage:
The Relationship Killer That No One Talks About
Have you ever met someone terrific and then pulled away because you were scared? Your dating anxieties are causing you to sabotage your own relationships.
My friend Jake found a wonderful lady, but he told himself she was “too good for him.” He stopped sending her texts, and she moved on. He wished he hadn’t done it later, but fear had already won.
Why so many people in the U.S. are anxious about dating
1. Social media worsens it.
You see this when you go on Instagram:
Instagram showcases some of the most enchanting couples.
These couples create captivating stories that are ideal for a first date.
#RelationshipGoals that seem unachievable.
The fact is that social media is a highlight reel. Looking at someone’s well-chosen articles and comparing them to your own dating situation makes you more anxious about dating.
2. More choices and more stress come with dating apps.
Wouldn’t it seem that having more choices would simplify dating? Not true. Studies suggest that having too many options makes people more anxious.
Swiping all the time makes you feel like you’re missing out (FOMO) and tired of making decisions.
3. The Ghosting Problem
One of the worst things that can occur during a dating relationship is ghosting. You text one day and then don’t say anything the next. You start to think, “What did I do wrong?”
A report in the New York Times about ghosting stressed that it’s grown normal, which makes singles less likely to trust.
How to Get Over Dating Anxiety (From Someone Who Knows)
1. Understand that it’s normal to be nervous
People who are quite sure of themselves nonetheless become scared. Instead of battling it, say, “Okay, I’m nervous.” That’s OK.
2. Get rid of the “perfect date” dream.
There will never be a perfect date. Things can become awkward. Just laugh them off!
3. Be kind to yourself
“I made a mistake, and now they hate me.”
“Even though I was scared, I did my best.”
4. Take Small Steps If Dating Apps Make You Anxious:
Begin with just 10 minutes a day.
Talk before the meeting.
Pick dates that aren’t too stressful (like coffee instead of an expensive supper).
5. Get Help Therapy isn’t simply for “big” problems. Talking to a specialist about your concern about dating may change your life.
In conclusion, remember that you are not alone in this experience.
Dating anxiety is difficult, but it doesn’t have to end your love life. When you start to feel that old terror again, remember:
“This is just a moment.” It doesn’t make me who I am.
And hey, if I can go from canceling dates to having fun on them, you can too.
Your Turn:
Have you ever been anxious about dating? What helped you get through it? Leave a remark, and let’s help each other out!
