The Night I Let Fear Take Over
Health anxiety is ruining my life. As I lay in bed, unable to move, the digital clock said it was 3:47 AM. I pushed my fingers to my hurting wrist. My terrified mind said, “Too fast.” I had been closely monitoring my pulse for 53 minutes, certain that the event was “the big one”—the fatal heart attack.
I ignored the fact that three heart doctors had given me a clear diagnosis. It didn’t matter that I was just 27. Health worries were wrecking my life, one night of little sleep at a time.
This episode began with a simple Google search concerning heart palpitations after supper. Four hours later, I was in full-blown panic, crying and thinking of waking my parents up to take me to the emergency department again. The embarrassment was nearly as terrible as the dread. How did I turn into this person?
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The Slow Fall Into Constant Fear: Health Anxiety Is Ruining My Life
It didn’t happen all at once. I can see how things have changed over time.
Phase 1: Looking up symptoms on Google from time to time (2021)
Phase 2: Writing down my symptoms on my phone (2022)
Phase 3: Making weekly visits with the doctor (2023)
Phase 4: Not going to work due of health worries (2024)
Phase 5: Not being able to tell the difference between anxiety and genuine disease (now)
What started off as typical worry has turned into something that ruled my life. I stopped going places because I was worried about becoming ill when I was away from home.
I stayed away from eateries because I was afraid that food poisoning might hide more severe symptoms. Health worries started affecting my life, and my world kept becoming smaller.
The Rs. 1.2 Lakh Wake-Up Call: The Breaking Point – health anxiety is ruining my life
The turning point was reached when I tallied up the medical bills for the past six months: health anxiety is ruining my life
12 visits to specialists
8 tests to figure out what’s wrong
Four trips to the emergency room that weren’t needed
A lot of medicines you may get without a prescription
Seeing that amount—Rs. 120,000 spent on getting confidence that never lasted—shocked me into action.
You might have used that money to pay for further school, a dream trip, or investments. Instead, it went to fueling my monster of worry.
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What Really Helped Me Get Back in Charge – health anxiety is ruining my life
1. The “Three Question” Rule Before You Google
When I feel the need to look up symptoms, I question myself:
Has a doctor previously looked at this problem?
Is there a risk of imminent harm, such as bleeding or not being able to breathe?
What proof do I have that goes against my fear?
This little break stops many unwanted spirals.
2. Set aside “worry time.”- health anxiety is ruining my life
(the trick that works even if it seems counterintuitive)
My therapist told me to set aside 30 minutes every night for
Look over any health issues
Journal of symptoms
Decide when to go to the doctor
How should I spend the rest of the day? I remind myself, “Save it for worry time,” when I start to think about my health. Most anxieties, nevertheless, lose their intensity by then.
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My most embarrassing (but important) relapse
I collapsed terribly last Diwali after three excellent months. A regular blood test indicated that my liver enzymes were a little higher than normal. Even though my doctor told me everything would be OK, I
Called three liver specialists to get a second opinion
Spent Rs. 8,000 on further testing
I thought I had cirrhosis (I don’t drink alcohol!).
The disgrace was too much to bear. But my therapist changed the way I thought about it: “Recovery isn’t a straight line; it’s a messy scribble that shows progress over time.” That relapse taught me to be kind to myself.
The Cost to the Body – health anxiety is ruining my life
People don’t talk about it, yet constant worry really hurts the body.
7 kg loss of weight due to stress
TMJ problems from clenching your jaw
Insomnia that makes you tired all the time
Stomach ulcers caused by too much stress
Knowing that my worry was causing real health issues was a strong reason for me to change.
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Small yet powerful daily habits
1. The “5 Senses” Grounding Method
When the panic starts:
5 things I see
4 things I think
Three things I hear
I smell two things
One item I taste
This sensory anchor pulls me back to the present.
2. The “Call a Friend” Rule – health anxiety is ruining my life
I have to phone one of my “reality check” pals before I can schedule an appointment with a doctor. Talking about my worries often shows how silly they are.
One Year Later:
Progress You Can See
Even if I’m not “cured,” I have
Cut down on medical visits by 80%
No longer recording symptoms every day; now once a week
Saved around Rs. 75,000 on medical costs
Started traveling again (I took my first flight in two years!)
Got back in touch with pals I had cut myself off from
What’s the most beneficial aspect? Recently, I’ve been suffering from a headache, and I’ve been taking paracetamol without any fuss.
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Health anxiety is wrecking my life
If you see yourself in this story, take a deep breath. You’re not insane. You are not the only one. Health anxiety can be killing your life right now, but it doesn’t have to stay that way. Start with a little:
Keep track of what makes you want to do it (for me, Googling late at night was the worst)
Make it harder to get to (I uninstalled medical applications and put up website blocks)
Get a support group together (like a therapist and pals who get it)
Celebrate little victories, like spending a day without examining your physique.
Getting well doesn’t mean never feeling worried; it means reacting differently when you do. And it will arrive. But every time you ride it out without responding, you change the way your brain’s terror circuits work.
A Letter to My Nervous Self
Hello Shubhangi,
I know you’re afraid. I know your body feels like it’s about to explode. But look at the facts:
More than 100 trips to the doctor
0 serious diagnoses
Many false warnings
You’ve made it through every “dying” moment thus far. What do they all have in common? It was constant stress. You’re becoming smarter. You are becoming bigger. And most significantly, you’re living again, one moment at a time.
Love, Your stronger self
If this resonated with you, share your story with us in the comments section below. Someone else could feel less alone because of what you’ve been through. 💙
