The Dark Before the Dawn: Life Before Taking ocd medication
I used to think of my mind as a battlefield. Every thought was a weapon, and every desire was a desperate attempt to survive. I scrubbed my hands until they bled. I embarked on a journey with OCD medication.
I examined the locks, switches, and taps over and over again, stuck in a cycle of anxiety. Sleep? Don’t worry about it. My mind never stopped working.
I recall lying on the floor of my bathroom at 3 AM, scrubbing my skin raw and weeping because no matter how much I cleansed, the terror wouldn’t go away.
That’s when I understood that I couldn’t do this by myself. My OCD was like a monster that wouldn’t die, even when therapy helped. My doctor kindly advised that I take medication for OCD.
I was scared. “Will it make me different? Will I turn into a zombie? But I had no other choice. I replied yes, even though my breath was unsteady.
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The First Pill: Worry, Hope, and ocd medication
My doctor put me on a modest dosage of an SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor), which is a popular drug for OCD. The first week was difficult. I experienced nausea, vertigo, and a sensation akin to a cotton-wrapped head. I was about to give up.
But then, something occurred that I didn’t anticipate.
Around the third week, I woke up one morning and noticed that the cacophony in my mind was quieter. I still wanted to wash my hands, but it seemed… bearable. For the first time in years, I could stop myself from giving in to a compulsion.
It wasn’t a miracle. But it was hope.
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What worked for me when I took OCD medicine?
Not every medicine for OCD is the same. Here’s what I did and how each one made me feel:
1. SSRIs (Fluvoxamine, Sertraline, Fluoxetine)
These are frequently the first things that doctors try. They raise serotonin levels, which helps control anxiety and obsessive thinking.
My first prescription was for sertraline (Zoloft). It took a few weeks to see a change, but the mental “static” slowly went away. I still had OCD thoughts, but they didn’t bother me as much.
2. SNRIs (Duloxetine, venlafaxine)—OCD medication
Doctors may attempt SNRIs if SSRIs don’t work. SNRIs influence both serotonin and norepinephrine.
My Experience: At first, venlafaxine made me nervous, but it helped with the OCD component of my depression. However, if I missed a dose of venlafaxine, the withdrawal symptoms were terrible.
3. Clomipramine, a tricyclic antidepressant
Clomipramine, a tricyclic antidepressant, has been a long-standing OCD medication, and it can sometimes be more effective during severe episodes.
In my experience, clomipramine was overly effective; it reduced my obsessions significantly, but it also dulled my emotions. I felt like a spirit. We went back to SSRIs.
4. Adding antipsychotics like aripiprazole to the mix
When OCD doesn’t respond to other treatments, doctors sometimes use a tiny dosage of an antipsychotic.
Aripiprazole made my legs restless, although it helped a lot with the unwanted thoughts. But the adverse effects forced me to quit after a few months.
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The Side Effects: Was It Worth It? – ocd medication
Let’s be honest: OCD medicine isn’t magic. There are both advantages and disadvantages to consider.
Gained weight: I gained 10 pounds while using Sertraline.
Emotional Blunting: There were days when I missed sobbing.
Sexual side effects from clomipramine can be unusual.
Brain zaps and dizziness are withdrawal symptoms. Don’t miss doses!
But the fact is that I’d rather deal with these side effects than the pain of having untreated OCD.
The Turning Point: How Drugs Changed My Life
I had a moment six months into therapy that I’ll never forget.
Someone sneezed near me when I was in a café. Before I started taking medicine for OCD, I would have run to the bathroom to wash my hands until they were raw. What happened that day?
I breathed in deeply. “It’s OK. “You’re fine.”
And for the first time in a long time, I was alright.
What I Learned: Tips for People – ocd medication
Who Are Thinking About Taking OCD Medication
Please allow some time for these medications to take effect, as they do not work immediately. Please be patient.
Monitor the side effects and record them in a journal. Some go away, some don’t. Talk to your doctor about it.
Don’t stop all at once; withdrawal is real. Slowly taper off.
Take both medication and treatment together. Medication calms the cacophony, while therapy teaches you how to live again.
Treat yourself with kindness; the journey is a journey, not a race.
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The end: What my life is like now – ocd medication
I still take medicine for OCD every day. There are still days when things go wrong. But what’s the difference? I have wonderful days now, too. There are days when OCD doesn’t dominate my life.
I understand if you are uncertain about taking medication. I was afraid too. But there are moments when the bravest thing we can do is ask for assistance.
You don’t have to be weak to require OCD medicine. You are strong for battling.
It’s your turn: Have you used medicine for OCD? What did you go through? Let’s work together to break the stigma by sharing in the comments. 💙
