The Presentation That Broke Me
I spent 37 hours perfecting a 10-minute work presentation, driven by perfectionism anxiety.
Not because it needed it. I was unable to stop.
I re-recorded the video 14 times—once because I blinked “too much” at the 2:43 mark. When my colleague casually said, “Looks great!” after seeing Draft #3, I nodded… then secretly redid the entire thing that night.
That’s when I realized: My “high standards” weren’t motivation—they were suffocating me.
If you’ve ever:
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Deleted a text 10 times before sending
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Avoided starting projects because you might “fail.”
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Felt physically sick over tiny mistakes
…you know perfectionism anxiety isn’t about being “detail-oriented.” It’s fear wearing a disguise.
What Perfectionism Anxiety Really Feels Like
It’s not just “wanting to do well.” It’s:
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The 3 AM replay: Obsessing over a minor comment you made three years ago.
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The procrastination paradox: Putting things off because if you can’t do them perfectly, why start?
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The exhaustion: Spending 4 hours on a task that should take 30 minutes.
For me, it showed up as
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Rewriting emails until they sounded “just right” (read: robotic).
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I began to despise my artwork, believing it to be inferior to that of professionals.
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Cancelling plans if I felt “too bloated” to look “perfect.”
My Wake-Up Call: The Panic Attack in the Bathroom
After missing another deadline (because “it wasn’t ready”), I locked myself in the office bathroom, hyperventilating. My chest burned. My vision blurred.
That panic attack wasn’t just stress—it was my body screaming: “This isn’t sustainable.”
How I Started Letting Go (Baby Steps) – Perfectionism Anxiety
1. The “Good Enough” Experiment
I forced myself to:
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Send emails with one typo (on purpose).
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Wear an outfit with one “flaw” (untucked shirt, mismatched socks).
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Post a photo without spending hours editing it.
The world continued to exist. In fact, no one noticed.
2. Tracking My “Cost of Perfection” – Perfectionism Anxiety
I logged:
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Time wasted on unnecessary revisions
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Opportunities lost due to over-preparation
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Joy sacrificed fo”flawlessness.ss”
Seeing the numbers shocked me into change.
3. Redefining “Failure” – Perfectionism Anxiety
I started asking:
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“What’s the worst that could happen if this isn’t perfect?”
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“Will this matter in five years?”
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“Would I judge a friend this harshly?”
Spoiler: The answers were “Nothing,” “No,” and “Hell no.”
Real Stories: How Others Cope – Perfectionism Anxiety
1. Rahul’s “Done is Better Than Perfect” Mantra
My friend Rahul—a fellow perfectionist—taped this to his laptop. “Now, when I obsess over details, I ask: ‘Is this making it better, or just different?’”
2. Priya’s “Imperfections Jar”
Priya writes down every “mistake” she makes (spilled coffee, awkward Zoom moment) and puts it in a jar. At month’s end, she reads them—and laughs at how trivial they seem.
When Perfectionism Anxiety Needs Professional Help
If you’re
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Self-worth depends on achievement
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Mistakes trigger intense shame
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Standards are hurting relationships
…therapy can help unpack why you feel nothing is ever good enough. (It did for me.)
What I Wish I’d Known Sooner – Perfectionism Anxiety
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Perfectionism is Often Trauma in Disguise
For me, it stemmed from childhood messages like “Love is conditional on performance.” -
Progress > Perfection
My first “imperfect” blog post got more engagement than my over-polished ones. -
Vulnerability Connects; Perfection Isolates
The more “flaws” I shared, the deeper my friendships became.
Final Thought: Imperfection is Freedom
To anyone reading this while re-editing a text for the 12th time: I see you.
You don’t need to completely give up on perfectionism. Start small:
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Leave a typo in a casual message.
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Wear pants with a tiny stain.
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Sing off-key in the shower.
With time, you’ll realize: The things you thought made you “unworthy” are actually what make you human. And that’s more than enough.
Do you struggle with perfectionism anxiety? What’s one “imperfect” thing you’ll allow today? Please feel free to share below—we’re in this together.
