The Day I Couldn’t Function Anymore – SSRIs
I was sitting in my office bathroom stall, knees pulled to my chest, trying to remember how to breathe. My heart pounded so hard I could feel it in my ears. The PowerPoint presentation I had to deliver in 15 minutes felt like an overwhelming task, and it was in moments like these that SSRIs had been suggested to me as a way to manage my anxiety.
The cause wasn’t just nerves. This was my third panic attack that week.
At that moment, my therapist gazed directly into my eyes and uttered the words I had been dreading: “I believe we should take SSRIs into consideration.”
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What Are SSRIs? (And Why They’re Not What You Think)
SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) aren’t “happy pills.” They don’t erase your personality or turn you into a zombie.
What they do is help your brain do what it’s supposed to: regulate serotonin, that crucial chemical that affects mood, sleep, and yes—anxiety.
For me, SSRIs weren’t a surrender. They were science, giving my brain the tools it needed to heal.
My First Month on SSRIs: The Ugly Truth
Week 1: “This Is Worse”
The side effects hit hard:
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Nausea with my morning coffee (devastating for a caffeine addict)
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Weird, vivid dreams where I’d show up to work naked (thanks, brain)
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A flat feeling, like someone turned my emotions down to 30%
I almost quit. Then my doctor said: *”Give it 4-6 weeks. Your brain is rewiring itself.”*
Week 3: The Glimmer – SSRIs
I woke up one Tuesday and realized:
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I’d eaten breakfast without my usual stomach-churning dread
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A work email that would’ve sent me spiraling just… didn’t
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I laughed at a meme and meant it
Week 6: The Turning Point – SSRIs
The morning I walked into the office without scanning the room for escape routes? That’s when I knew the SSRIs were working.
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What SSRIs Did (And Didn’t) Fix
✅ Did:
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Quiet the constant “what-if” loop in my head
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Make panic attacks rare instead of weekly
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Help me sleep through the night
❌ Didn’t:
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Make me “happy” all the time (that’s not the goal)
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Replace therapy or self-care
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Work instantly (patience is brutal but necessary)
The Myths About SSRIs We Need to Stop Believing
Myth 1: “You’ll Become Emotionless”
Truth? I feel more now. Before, anxiety drowned out everything else. Now I can actually enjoy moments.
Myth 2: “It’s the Easy Way Out”
As if white-knuckling through life is somehow nobler? Please. This was harder than “just toughing it out.”
Myth 3: “You’ll Be on Them Forever”
Some people are. Some taper off. There’s no one-size-fits-all—and that’s okay.
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A Real Conversation That Changed Everything
My friend Rohan (who’d been on SSRIs for years) told me:
“If you had diabetes, you’d take insulin. Your brain is an organ too. Why is this different?”
That reframe saved me.
What I Wish I’d Known Before Starting SSRIs
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The First 2 Weeks Suck (but push through)
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You Might Need to Try Different Types (my first one made me too sleepy)
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They Work Best With Therapy (pills don’t teach coping skills)
The Unexpected Gift SSRIs Gave Me
They didn’t just help my anxiety. They gave me back
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The ability to focus on my novel (finished after 3 years of false starts)
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Real presence with my niece instead of being trapped in my head
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Confidence to set boundaries (“No” is a complete sentence)
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Final Thoughts: My Letter to Anyone Considering SSRIs
Dear You,
If you’re reading this while debating whether to try medication, I get it. I Googled “SSRIs ruined my life” at 3 AM too.
Here’s what I know now:
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You’re not weak for needing help
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Side effects usually pass
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Relief is worth the awkward pharmacy trips
You deserve to feel better. However that looks.
Love,
Shubhangi (who still takes her little white pill every morning)
Key Takeaways:
✅ SSRIs aren’t a magic fix—but they can be a lifeline
✅ The first month is rough (but usually gets better)
✅ They work best combined with other support
✅ There’s no shame in chemical help
Have you tried SSRIs? What was your experience? Share below—let’s normalize real talk about mental health meds. 💙
