How to know if you’re a narcissist— We all have an idea of what a narcissist is like: someone who is full of themselves, thinks they are better than everyone else, and is always looking for attention.
Could it be that the reality is more complex than we initially thought?
What if some of us are narcissistic and don’t even know it?
The reality is that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and identifying your potential place on this spectrum is the first step to improving yourself and your relationships.
This site isn’t about finding fault or judging; it’s about finding yourself and showing you how to make positive changes. This information is relevant to you if you’ve ever wondered, “Am I a narcissist?”
12 Small Signs That You Might Be a Narcissist
Having one or two of these traits doesn’t make you a narcissist. But if a lot of these things sound like you, it could be worth looking into them more.
1. A Constant Need for Validation:
Do you always need other people to tell you that you’re doing a fantastic job?
Do you need a lot of outside approval to feel good about yourself?
This is more than just having decent self-esteem; it’s a constant need for confirmation.
o Why it matters: This might make people act in ways that are dishonest and make them feel weak.
How to repair it: Be kind to yourself. Focus on personal affirmation by acknowledging your talents and accomplishments without needing praise from others.
2. Hardness Empathizing with Others: Am I a narcissist
Do you have trouble understanding or sharing how other people feel?
Do you often think that other people’s troubles aren’t important?
Understanding other people’s feelings is crucial for building strong connections, which is why it matters. Not being able to feel for others might cause problems and make you feel alone.
How to solve it: Pay attention to what others say without interrupting or judging. Think about how they feel and put yourself in their shoes.
3. A Sense of Entitlement:
Do you think you should get special treatment or that the rules don’t apply to you?
Do you become frustrated quickly when things don’t go your way?
o Why it matters: Feeling entitled can hurt relationships and make other people frustrated.
To address this, practice gratitude. Instead of thinking about what you don’t have, think about what you do have. Give your time to help people who need it.
4. Exploitative Behavior:
Do you use other people to get what you want?
Do you use people to get what you want?
This is important because exploitative behavior breaks trust and can end relationships.
o How to improve it: Be careful how you talk to other people. Think about whether or not you’re being fair and kind. Be honest and open.
5. Grandiose Fantasies: How to know if you’re a narcissist
Do you spend a lot of time dreaming about having endless success, power, intelligence, or the perfect love?
o Why it matters: Having goals is beneficial, but being too grandiose can make you expect too much and be disappointed.
What to do to fix it: Get in touch with reality. Establish achievable goals and embrace the present moment. Mindfulness can help you enjoy the little things in life.
6. Arrogance and Superiority:
Do you regularly talk down to people or act like you’re better than them?
Do you find it challenging to acknowledge when you might be mistaken?
Why it matters: Being arrogant makes people feel awful and stops real connections from happening.
How to repair it: Be humble. Know that everyone has things they are good at and things they are bad at. Be willing to learn from other people and own up to your mistakes.
7. Being sensitive to criticism:
Do you get frustrated, defensive, or embarrassed when someone criticizes you?
o Why it matters: Being too sensitive to criticism stops you from growing as a person and learning from your mistakes.
How to repair it: Think upon criticism as a chance to do better. Don’t become defensive when others say things to you. Ask questions to make things clearer, and try to see things from their perspective.
8. Not Knowing Where to Draw the Line: How to know if you’re a narcissist
Do you find it challenging to respect others’ personal space?
Do you share excessive personal information or interfere with others’ personal space?
o Why it matters: It’s important to respect other people’s space to have healthy interactions.
o How to solve it: Pay attention to how you talk to other people. Pay attention to what they say and how they move.
Before you share personal information or go into their area, ask for permission.
9. Obsession with Looks: How to know if you’re a narcissist
Do you spend too much time and attention on how you look? Do you think your worth depends on how good you look?
o Why it matters: Being too concerned with how you look can make you feel insecure and unhappy.
How to repair it: Pay attention to your inner traits, including your intelligence, friendliness, and sense of humor. Accept yourself and value the things that make you special.
10. A History of Turbulent Relationships: How to know if you’re a narcissist
Do you tend to have brief, dramatic relationships?
Do you often blame your partners for the troubles in your relationships?
o Why it matters: Having narcissistic qualities might make it challenging to keep long-term, healthy partnerships.
o What to do: Own up to your part in the troubles in your former relationships. Get therapy to look at how you deal with relationships and learn how to talk to people in a healthier way.
11. A feeling of being “special” or unique: How to know if you’re a narcissist
Do you think you are better or different from other people in some way?
Do you feel that only certain individuals truly understand you?
Why it matters: It’s beneficial to know what makes you exceptional, but thinking you’re too special might make you feel alone and cut off from other people.
How to solve it: Accept that everyone has their skills and talents. Concentrate on finding things you have in common with others and making real connections.
12. Covert or “Weak” Narcissism: Am I a narcissist
Covert narcissists, on the other hand, generally seem hesitant, sensitive, and unsure of themselves.
They might say they feel misunderstood or unappreciated to get people to feel sorry for them and get what they want.
Why it matters: Covert narcissism can be more harmful since people don’t always see it.
What to do to fix it: Look for patterns of trying to get sympathy or acting like a victim. Take charge of your feelings and behaviors.
What Is the Difference Between Confidence and Narcissism?
It’s not hard to mix up healthy confidence with narcissism. So, am I a narcissist? This is the most important difference:·
Confidence comes from really accepting yourself and being good at what you do. You may be pleased with what you’ve done without putting people down.
Narcissism is characterized by a desire to be superior to others and a need for external validation. It typically involves exaggerating your own achievements while belittling others.
For example, a confident person says, “I’m happy with how my presentation went.” I put a lot of effort into it.
Narcissistic Person: “My talk was the best.” Everyone else’s was awful.
Is it possible for a narcissist to change?
What Therapists Say (Am I a narcissist?”)
The good news is that things can get better. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a deeply established way of acting, yet people who have narcissistic features can learn to control their conduct and make their relationships better.
Dr. Deshmukh, a therapist who works with people with personality problems, says:
“Self-awareness is the first stage. It’s essential to recognize and accept narcissistic tendencies. Therapy, especially psychodynamic therapy and cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), can help people figure out why they act the way they do and learn better ways to deal with problems. Change is hard work and takes time, but it can happen.
This 5-Minute Psychology-Based Narcissism Quiz
Am I a narcissist? or How to know if you’re a narcissist
This might be a simpler version of the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) or another evaluation tool that has been proven to work.
Be careful to mention clearly that this is not a diagnostic tool and should not be used instead of a professional evaluation.
Sample Questions:
Do you often want other people to admire you? (Yes/No)
Do you think you are better at things than most people? (Yes/No)
Do you have trouble putting yourself in other people’s shoes? (Yes/No)
(Explain how to score and what the results mean.)
The question “I Thought I Was Confident, But Am I a Narcissist?” explores the complexities of self-perception and narcissism.
Include anonymous interviews or case studies of persons who have identified and dealt with their narcissistic qualities.
Look at how they’ve changed for the better and what they’ve learned about themselves.
Example Snippet: “For years, I thought I was just strong and sure of myself. However, my relationships were consistently chaotic.
I didn’t start to see things differently until a therapist told me I wasn’t empathetic. It was challenging to accept, but it was also the start of a new chapter in my life.
“Understanding Vulnerable Narcissism.”
Steps You Can Take to Make a Change
· Practice empathy by listening to people, trying to see things from their perspective, and validating their feelings.
· Question your sense of entitlement: Know that you are not better than anyone else by nature.
· Make sure your expectations are realistic: Don’t have big dreams; instead, focus on little, doable tasks.
· Ask for feedback: Get honest feedback on how you act from friends or family members you trust.
· Be gentle to yourself, especially when you mess up.
Think about going to therapy—how to know if you’re a narcissist
A therapist can help you figure out what’s causing your narcissistic qualities and teach you better ways to deal with them.
· Be thankful: Think about the things in your life that you are grateful for.
· Forgive yourself: Don’t dwell on your previous faults; instead, focus on going forward.
· Self-reflection: Look at your actions often and find ways to improve them.
Be Mindful: Right now, pay attention to what you’re thinking, feeling, and doing.
How to Know If You’re a Narcissist (Final Checklist)
If you are still questioning whether you are a narcissist, here’s a quick recap: Am I a narcissist?
✅ You feel superior to most people
✅ You struggle with empathy
✅ You manipulate situations to your advantage
✅ You get furious when criticized
✅ Your relationships feel one-sided
What’s the bright side? You’re probably not the worst kind of narcissist if you’re concerned about being one. True narcissists don’t self-reflect.
What to Do Next (If You Relate to Narcissistic Traits)
- Get Honest Feedback
- Ask a trusted friend, “Do I ever seem self-absorbed?”
- Try Therapy (CBT Works Best for Narcissism)
- A therapist can help you recognize blind spots.
- Practice Empathy (Daily Exercises)
- Ask people about their feelings—and really listen.
- Write down how others might feel in situations.
How to Know If You’re a Narcissist: Am I a Narcissist?
- You Constantly Seek Praise
Do you feel upset when others don’t acknowledge your achievements? Narcissists need external validation to feel worthy.
- You Lack Empathy
Do you find it difficult to comprehend the emotions of others? A 2024 study in The Journal of Personality found that narcissists score low in cognitive and emotional empathy.
- You Manipulate Situations
If you frequently manipulate or twist conversations to maintain control, it could be a warning sign.
- You Believe You’re Special
Narcissists often feel they deserve preferential treatment and look down on those they consider “inferior.”
- You struggle with criticism.
Even constructive feedback feels like a personal attack.
📌 Worksheet Question: “Do I tend to react aggressively or defensively when I am criticized?“
(Download the full self-assessment worksheet here.)
Narcissism vs. High Self-Esteem: Am I a narcissist?
| Trait | Healthy Self-Esteem | Narcissism |
| Confidence | Secure, doesn’t need validation | Fragile, needs constant praise |
| Empathy | Can understand others’ feelings | Struggles to relate |
| Handling Criticism | Accepts feedback | Reacts with anger or dismissal |
Case Study: Narcissism in Seattle
A 2024 report from the University of Washington found that loneliness and narcissistic traits are rising in tech-heavy cities like Seattle and San Francisco, where workplace competition fuels self-centered behaviors.
📌 Local Resource:
- Seattle Anxiety Support Group—Offers therapy for NPD and related conditions. (Contact here)
Q&A: People Also Ask (How to know if you’re a narcissist)
Q: Can a narcissist change?
A: Yes, but it requires therapy (like CBT or DBT) and genuine self-awareness.
Q: Is narcissism genetic?
A: Research in Nature Mental Health (2024) suggests 50% genetic, 50% environmental (e.g., childhood neglect or excessive praise).
Q: How do narcissists act in relationships?
Narcissists often engage in love-bombing before devaluing their partners. (Watch relationship therapist break down.)
Watch on YouTube—Am I a narcissist?
▶ “Narcissism in the Digital Age”—Dr. Mark Lee discusses how social media fuels narcissistic behaviors.
(Watch on YouTube)
MedCircle—”10 Signs You’re Dealing With a Narcissist”
- Psychology in Seattle—”Can a Narcissist Change?”
📝 Worksheet for : How to Know If I Am a narcissist
“Am I a Narcissist? —15-Point Self-Assessment Checklist“
“Narcissistic Traits Test—Rate Your Behaviors (2024)”
“NPD Red Flags Worksheet—Identify Toxic Patterns”
“Empathy & Narcissism Quiz—How Self-Aware Are You?”
“The Narcissism Spectrum Test—Clinical & Non-Clinical Signs”
Final Thought: Change Is Possible (But Only If You Want It)
Narcissism is not a permanent condition. If you’re willing to grow, you can. Are you ready to take the first step? The first step is to acknowledge the problem.
So, take a moment to ask yourself one last time, “Am I a narcissist?” If your answer is “maybe,” then that indicates it’s time to start improving today.
Academic & Clinical References—Am I a narcissist?
- American Psychiatric Association. (2023).
- Why? The American Psychiatric Association is widely regarded as the definitive source for NPD diagnostic criteria.
- 📌 Cite for the “Official NPD symptoms” section.
- Twenge, J., & Campbell, W.K. (2023).
- Why? The study delves into the issue of narcissism in the context of social media and Generation Z.
- 📌 Cite for “Why narcissism irising.ng”
- Caligor, E., et al. (2024). Harvard Review of Psychiatry, 32(1).
Recent Studies (2024)—How to know if you’re a narcissist
- University of Washington (2024).
“Loneliness and narcissism in tech hubs: a Seattle case study.”
- Key Stat: “35% of tech workers scored high on narcissism scales.”
- 📌 Link to the “Local data” section.
- CDC Behavioral Risk Report (2024).
*”Mental Health Trends in U.S. Cities (2020-2024).“
- Key Stat: “17% rise in NPD traits since 2020.”
- 📌 Cite the “2024 stats callout box.
Self-Help & Public Resources
- National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI). (2023).
“Personality Disorders: A Guide for Families.”
- Why? This is an authoritative NGO resource.
- 🔗 www.nami.org/NPD
- Mayo Clinic. (2024).
“Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Self-Screening Tools.”
- Why? Use a reliable medical source as the foundation for the worksheet.
- 🔗 www.mayoclinic.org/NPD-screening
Media & Pop Psychology
- The Atlantic (March 2024).
“Why Dating Apps Breed Narcissism” (Interview with Dr. Ramani).
- Why? The hook is trendy and appealing to younger readers.
- 📌 Use in the “Modern Triggers” section.
- Psychology Today (2024).
“The 5 New Faces of Narcissism” (covers “covert narcissism.”).
How to Cite in Your Article
- For studies:
“A 2024 Harvard Review study found therapy reduces NPD symptoms by 40% (Caligor et al., 2024).”
Bonus: Localized References
- Seattle Times (2024): “Tech Layoffs Spike Narcissism in Seattle Professionals”
- NYC Health Dept. (2023): “NPD in High-Pressure Careers” (Law/Finance stats)
